{1} I have forgiven

When observing my own struggles with the process of forgiveness directed toward a betrayal by the trusted loved-one (the oppressor who did abuse me financially and emotionally), I did realize that the act of forgiveness was most important just to me, the person who was victimized. By forgiving I freed myself from feelings of grief and injustice, which I carried deep within. It did not matter did the oppressor knew about my act of forgiveness. It was much more important that I, the victim, am freed of negative emotions connected with the memory and review of wrongs which befallen me. I had to understand that I forgave for my own internal feelings of peace, to free my mind and emotions. The important thing was to take away from the oppressor the “power” to control my feelings of injustice and injury, and control over my emotions. This is why I forgave ONLY FOR MYSELF; to be able to live my life free of grievances and hurt Oppressor's feelings and motivation have no bearings when comes to my feelings of experienced injustice. I did understand that I do not need to care (or guess) why the oppressor acted one way or another. Also it does not matter if the Oppressor ever asks for forgiveness, or will he/she be “ready” to make an attempt at “restitution”. The fact that the Oppressor decides to ask for forgiveness sometime in the future, when “he is ready” or is convenient for him, does not necessary constitute a positive experience for me, or other aggrieved person. The Oppressor usually is asking for forgiveness in order to make peace with his conscience and own serenity. This is why when the Oppressor is getting ready to put in action Step 9, Oppressor needs to be also ready for the rejection (of request for forgiveness and attempt at restitution)

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