{3} As I understood Him
From time to time I heard statement that a person is an atheist, or does not believe in God. Often there is a question attached to that statement - it is possible for these individuals to “work the Steps”, since word God is used in several of them. Also, often there is a statement that “the 12-Step Program is a religious program”, without specifics which religion it belongs to.
I'm including definitions from the on-line (Internet) dictionary:
a·the·ist - a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.
Atheism is about belief or, specifically, what you don't believe.
Agnosticism is about knowledge or, specifically, about what you don't know. An atheist doesn't believe in any gods. An agnostic doesn't know if any gods exist or not. Agnosticism is of the essence of science, whether ancient or modern. It simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that which he has no scientific grounds for professing to know or believe.
ag·nos·tic - a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.
Agnosticism is the view that the existence of God, of the divine or the supernatural is unknown or unknowable. Another definition provided is the view that "human reason is incapable of providing sufficient rational grounds to justify either the belief that God exists or the belief that God does not exist."
Regardless of the above definitions and their ideas, I personally had to work out my own comprehension and definition of a Higher Power within the 12 Step Program.
I vividly remember some eager group-participant explaining that “The Higher Power does not have to be a God (meaning – christian God), it can be anything, object, Nature, ……”. This did not work for me.
When working the 2nd Step again!! -it finally became apparent that not ALL of it: -world, people, problems, issues, friendships, relations, belongs to me – although I’ve tried desperately to make ALL of IT MINE!!!, and please do not ask why…. That how it was. Finally, I understood that some of “life” belongs not-to-me.!!! Therefore, I’ve separated myself from “not mine” and realized that what is “not mine” is governed by “some other” power. Power Greater than myself. And this became my definition of a Higher Power, whom eventually I’ve chosen to call God, a christian God.
My understanding of the Power Greater than myself became an integral part of my Spirituality; I realized that (my) body without Spirituality is “just a corpse”. Any body - mine, yours.
I’ve comprehended that in the 12-Step Program, the belief in the Higher Power/God is based on the understanding and acceptance that each one of us, humans, has some limits and limitations. These limitations are connected to the elements total “outside” of the realm of an individual person, regardless of if the element is human, spiritual, material, emotional, religious, or atmospheric.
If any element does not belong to me, like spirituality, body, material things – these elements are NOT MINE to rule over them or to modify them.
That was when I did comprehend why I cannot stop the wind from blowing, change cloud formation, or change feelings/behavior of others. These are the things controlled by Higher Power/God, as I understand Him.
The Higher Power exists, no matter what or how I believe or not believe, or do I Trust It or not.
To me, God is not a specific religion. Religion as such concentrates on idea of